That Time of Year

It’s hard to believe that winter festival time is already here. This year has flown by.  It brought a lot of positive movement for many of us. 

As we shift in to high gear for the holiday season I’d like to remind you that it wasn’t always this way. For most of our history winter celebrations were more contemplative. People took time with close friends and family in a very intimate way. 

People also saw it as a time for quiet reflection and planning for the year to come. Rightly so. For most of us, at least in the Northern hemisphere, the days are short, the weather cold, dreary, even down right freezing. What do you want to do when this type of weather arrives? Find a warm cave and stay there! That’s exactly what the traditional winter festivals were about. 

Gather together in the warm, safe, indoors. Be more introspective. Think about how the last year has gone for you and those you love. Consider the things that you might have done better. 

Candles and lights are also an important part of this winter ritual. They remind us that Spring will come. The light will return. In fact, it already has. As soon as we cross past the winter solstice, the shortest day of the year, the days start to get longer. These celebrations provide us with hope. The sun will indeed return.

However you celebrate this time of year, take a little time out of your hectic schedule to think, to contemplate, to simply be. Allow this powerful time of year to push you inward. Discover what might lie in store for you as the New Year begins. 

All the best of the season to you, and yours, and my wishes for a fabulous 2015.

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Taking Care

Being nurturing can be extremely important at times. Make sure that you spend some of that supportive energy on you too.

Balanced nurturing seems to something that many of us struggle with. Some people only understand how to help others. They give too much, often at their own expense.Other people are good at caring for themselves but can be so self-concerned that they forget other people.

Both of these approaches are inherently flawed. In order for nurturing to be balanced it must include care for both self and others. 

Being a caring person does not mean being a doormat. The people who you have supported should be willing to support you when you need it. That help can come in any form. It represents the other person’s willingness to give back as best they can.

We all have times when we’re tired, ill, or just don’t have a lot of energy. That’s when we need to rest, relax,  and get better. If we don’t we will end up exhausted. If we do it too much it can have serious consequences.

On the flip side are the people who take care of themselves but loose track of other people. They can be self-serving, or simply hide to nurture themselves. They can find it hard to relate to other people. They can become isolated and depressed.

Understanding how and when to focus your caring is critical. There are times when we must give energy to the people in our lives who need us. At others we must withdraw to rest and recuperate. The best approach is to care for yourself and get strong. Then you will have the energy you need to care for the others. Balanced nurturing will make everyone in your life stronger, more capable, and more independent. 

Do you use your nurturing strength to empower yourself and others? I’d love to hear your story.

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In the Flow

Sometimes you need to sit back and let things happen. It can be easier said than done. 

We all like to think that we’re in control. While it is important to work hard towards the things you’re meant to get done in life. Occasionally, moving yourself forward means taking your time making adjustments as life throws stuff at you.

Periods like that always look a little bit chaotic for me. Schedules get altered. Plans change. Appointments get cancelled. It can get frustrating if I let it.

The best way to handle those times is to get curious about the shifts as they happen. Laugh as much as possible. There’s no point trying to control things. Most of all, be flexible. 

Think of the flow of life like a current in a river. You’re likely to end up where it’s going regardless of what you try to do. If you relax, let the river take charge, you’ll end up where you’re supposed to be.

Trust that the Universe is taking care if you. The current is carrying you around challenges so that you can deal with what’s really important.

Getting into the flow is easy for some people. They can take things as they come, and let the Universe take care of them. For others, including me, it’s harder. Instead of getting curious when things get unpredictable, I get frustrated. Instead of finding joy on the journey I try to figure out what’s going on.

That approach makes life more challenging, and makes the shifts more erratic.  I’ve gotten much better at exploring happily when the current is too strong to resist. Sometimes, when I feel the river carrying me, I can let go before I push myself off course. Occasionally I can laugh at how silly I must seem trying to resist the full force of life pulling me forward.

Do you resist, or embrace, the currents when they seem to be working against you? I’d love to hear.

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Peeling the Onion

Have you ever felt like you could work on your stuff for ever? Are you holding onto things you’ve already resolved?

I was adopted at almost 11 months old. I was in foster homes, and hospitals, before that. It was a rough ride. When I got home I was so weak that I couldn’t lift my head. With my families’ love, and support, I thrived. 

That  trauma left me with baggage. My infant self learned lessons that aren’t relevant any more. But, it’s still difficult for me to feel safe sometimes.

I’ve dealt with the root experience, but not with the threads of “proof” that happened later. 

When I was in my teens I experienced physical bullying because of my sexuality. My cocky self assurance started to crumble. In my twenties I was with a man who was emotionally, and physically, abusive. I was showing myself just how unsafe the world could be. I learned my most powerful, self-limiting, strategy. I began to hide. 

I hid in plain sight. At work, I was the person the office needed me to be. As so many of us are. I would hide the deeper parts of myself to make my partner comfortable. I would avoid confrontation, even with close friends. I showed people what they wanted to see.

I project easy confidence when I want to sit at home and hide. 

I’ve pushed somewhat out of my comfort zone. But I’m not out there doing the work I’m meant to do.

I‘ve made progress. I’m more authentic with the people closest to me. I’m more open with my clients than I thought possible. But being me, shining bright, out there where everyone can see, that terrifies me.

About a year ago I started to feel restless. I knew if I stayed hidden I couldn’t accomplish what I’m here to do. It’s time to get out in the world.

Where do you hold back from letting us see the real you? I’d love to hear your story.

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Time to Slow Down

Sometimes moving quickly isn’t helpful. Taking small steps can be the key to powerful forward movement.

When I decide to do something I usually charge ahead. My lack of patience creates a rush forward that isn’t always the best for me.  

I can always depend on life, or a reading, to let me know that my behaviour is creating a problem. That happened yesterday.  The message was loud and clear. Slow down and focus.

I’ve just started working with my coaches and I’m fired up. It feels like a starting line. As with a longer race, pacing myself at the beginning of this project is crucial.

I’m creating radical change in my business. It is important to have a clear vision of where I’m headed before I start moving. Everything inside me is telling me to get going. I need to stay calm until the perfect moment. Then I can pick up the pace and launch into success.

For now, being cautious, and methodical, is my best route to success. I need to slow down, breathe deep, and lay the foundation before I try to soar.

Plans change, ideas shift and grow. I’ll stay flexible. But, I need a solid plan in place before I get started.

My energy is limited. If I dash off too quickly I run the risk of burning out before I’m done. If I want long-tern success I need to keep my reserves in place for the hard work ahead. Change of this magnitude will  require emotional shifts as well as real-world effort. I don’t want to go in exhausted. 

So I’ll stay the course. Put one foot in front of the other until it’s time to push forward. Why not move with the energy of the Universe on my side?

Do you agree that there are times that quickly moving forward is not in your best interest? I’d love to hear why or why not.

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Shift, then, Trust

Even when you can see positive things coming, change can be challenging. Have you ever created lots of change at the same time? The shifts may be good, but they can bring on anxiety.

I’m having that experience right now. I’ve hired a coaching team to help me rethink my practice, and writing. We’ve only started the process, but, I can already feel the future tugging at me.

My husband and I have decided to explore spending more time in the California desert. Escaping some of our rainy winter will be amazing. I love the heat so summer might even be enjoyable. Spending more time away means restructuring my practice so that I can work remotely. 

As an Obatala I have a powerful need for a safe cave to retreat to. Frequent visits to hotels, and rented homes, are one of the challenges I see up ahead. I need to remember that the goal is eventually to have a home in the desert to retreat to.

We’re moving into the next phase of our lives. I have no way of knowing what our new life will look like. It will certainly be radically different. I’m really excited, but I’m also a bit anxious.

Major shifts disrupt my peace, and clarity.  I don’t always function well in the midst of change. That said, I do recognize how important it is to keep moving forward. I’ll embrace it all whole heartedly.

No matter how compelling the upcoming future is, it is full of unknowns. We can never see the future. We need to trust that the Universe brought us to this moment. It will make sure that we have what we need. 

To move though change gracefully there are a few things you need to do. Make decisions that align with your best, next, steps. Proactively deal with your resistance. Be sensitive to the signals that the Universe sends. Get readings to help clarify the big decisions. Most of all, enjoy the process as much as you can.

Have you struggled with changes that you know will greatly improve your life? I’d love to hear about it.

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Doing the Work

Reaching our goals requires inner, and outer, work. There is no magic wand that will bring you everything you want in life.

Many of us believe that we should be able to have whatever we want without making any effort. If we simply align ourselves, say the right prayer, or do the right spell, then poof. Everything we want will be delivered to us on a silver platter. 

The Universe is infinitely abundant, and infinitely diverse. We may experience many kinds of existence. Our lives here are only one example of many possibilities. We chose to have a physical existence. Earth is the perfect place for us to be in order to accomplish our destinies this time around.

You accepted your physical body. It came with a wonderful set of senses that bring you experience. You also accepted the rules of the physical Universe. The only way to manifest tangible results in the physical world is through physical action. 

Activity is not the only piece of the puzzle. You need to have every level of your being in alignment to manifest truly remarkable results. You must deal with all of the emotional baggage in your way. Your goals need to align with you purpose. Then you must take appropriate, and consistent, action. 

Spiritual, emotional, and mental, effort can support your physical goals but they will not deliver them. The rules of our reality are tough. Many of us find work in the “higher” realms easier.  But, if you want to live an extraordinary life you need to take action on every level. Trying to to leave part of the puzzle out will never give you what you’re looking for.

You must match your spiritual action with temporal effort in order to get tangible benefits. Otherwise  your results are a matter of luck.

Do you agree that positive thinking is only one piece of the achievement puzzle? I’d love to hear why, or why not.

Connect with Brian