Developing Your Character

A good  life depends on good character in all of your dealings. It is the little day to day slips that lead us into bigger trouble long-term. How do we maintain the best character possible when the Universe is challenging us to develop?

Good character, caring for ourselves and others, being ethical and big picture focused, is a process of ongoing growth. Evolutionary periods are times when character slips are most likely. We can get us angry, lash out, make questionable compromises. If these slips become habits they can set us back significantly. 

Ifa divination makes it easier to avoid the pitfalls. But, even without it, you can recognize a growth phase, and be extra cautious. 

You will feel pushed whenever you start to grow. Things will go sideways with disturbing regularity. You’ll react strongly to things that normally wouldn’t bother you. You’ll feel stressed. But challenges provide opportunity for growth. Rise to the occasion by putting everything you’ve learned into practice.

Keep doing the things that are good for you even when the intensity turns up. Don’t let your self-care fly out the window. If you get overwhelmed by the pressure focus on moving forward, looking at the big picture, and thinking long-term.

Sometimes a crisis demands your undivided attention. That’s fine for the short-term. But, avoid going into over-drive and pushing blindly forward. Resolve the immediate crisis, then take a step back. Get your legs underneath you. Return to equilibrium.

Once you’re grounded find a long-term solution that works for everyone involved. Good character is always about creating win-win situations. 

It is crucial to cut out the noise from people who are panicking. They aren’t doing anyone any good. You may have to cut some of them out of your life. Sometimes good character demands that of us.

Our times of greatest crisis are opportunities to strengthen our character. Eventually, we are able to move gracefully with whatever life throws at us.

Do agree that our greatest challenges provide our most powerful growth? I’d love to hear why, or why not.

Connect with Brian

The Importance of Empathy

2015 is a year for empathy. It’s a time to sit back and listen to the people around you. Take in what they’re saying. Understand the undercurrents behind their words. That way you can hear their needs. Empathy leads to win-win situations. 

To do this, start from a calm foundation. A peaceful state quiets the noise in your head so that you can tune in. Clarity allows you to sense what they are communicating with intonation, body language, and even energy. 

Breathing is one of the best ways to create the ideal state. Focusing on breath we ground ourselves and open our senses. If you feel calm and expansive you got it right.

Always breathe from your belly. Pay attention to your breathing. Make sure it is as low in your body as possible.  Once you’e moved your breath down, deepen it by filling your lungs. Then slow it down as much as possible. Make the out breaths longer than the inhales  to add to the calming effect. It can be a very subtle way to become more empathetic.

Empathy can be particularly challenging in group settings. When lots of people are trying to get their point across, speak last. Practice your breathing. Listen to every person as they speak. Sit, attentive, interested, with an open mind. You’ll get clear on what’s really going on with the group.

When your turn comes, take your time. Allow everything that you’ve learned  help you to figure out what to say. Communicate your needs, or opinion, in a way that aligns with the best interest of the whole group. You’ll get amazing results. 

It can be tough to have empathy. During heated debates, it might seem almost impossible. In family discussions it can be tricky because everyone is pushing each other’s buttons. Do the best you can. The smallest step in the right direction will help everyone. 

Have you had positive experiences using empathy and active listening? I’d love to hear about them.

Connect with Brian

Time to Make it Happen

There are times when life demands that we move in a way that we’re not comfortable with. For some of us that means being quiet, thoughtful, or contemplative. For others, being more outgoing, courageous, and bold, is in order. 

These times are powerful growth periods. Trying on a new behaviour will set you up for success. The Universe will only demand that you expand your self-definition. It is important to balance your weak spots.

This year I need to get out into the world. It will be a time to be forceful, to make things happen. That isn’t natural for me. It’s hard for me to ask for what I want. I’ll have to address that over the course of this year.

I will have to push out of my comfort zone and explore things I’m uncomfortable with. I won’t suddenly become an aggressive go-getter. That isn’t who I am. The price for my success is balancing my reserved nature so that I can start to play a bigger, more public role. 

I will enjoy a great deal of what is coming. But, sometimes my own insecurities will try to stop me from doing what needs to be done. I have the tools I need to deal with these moments of crisis. 

This kind of year has its challenges. It can also can be extremely satisfying. You can launch in a new direction finding exhilaration along with balance. 

If you want to accomplish something that will require growth on your part, expect some turbulence along the way. Recognize the things that are going to be challenging. Then put resources in place to help you move forward in the most powerful and balanced way possible. Face your fears, and doubts, and keep going.

Have you ever knowingly moved into a phase that demanded huge shifts, and growth, from you? I’d love to hear your story.

Connect with Brian

Opportunity and Stress

There are times when creative energy runs powerfully. It can be overwhelming and stressful. Manage the inflow to benefit from the opportunity that hides just behind it.

Creation is a violent process. Think of the big bang, the explosion that started the universe rolling. Here on Earth, new land is created by volcanoes. When we evolve it can also be explosive. Shifts can be so strong that we get lost.  

Sometimes the energy brings a powerful awakening. It is about inspiration. This can also be tricky. You can get so caught up in a new dream that you loose touch with reality. It is the energy of extremism. 

In either case, calm down to bring yourself back into balance. Look at this powerful moment through a different lens. At the heart of the explosion is almost limitless potential. It’s Ok to wonder what you’re supposed to do with it all.

The first step is taking a unbiased look at what’s in front of you. There is no reason for you to act on every opportunity. In fact, you shouldn't.

From the perspective of the Universe creating, all opportunities are good, and all possibilities equal. At the highest spiritual level that is true. Here in our lives, not so much.

To truly benefit from this powerful time you need to partner with the creative process. Take a look at each opportunity that shows up. How beneficial will it be for you in the long term? If something doesn't look great, move on. More possibility will always come. If you find something awesome put it on your plate and get moving on it.

The size of your plate is important too. If you take on too much you probably won't succeed. Fill your plated with as much as you can handle. Don't over do it. That way you can get everything this energy is meant to bring you while staying strong and healthy.

Have you ever found opportunity hiding under intensity? I’d love to hear your story.

Connect with Brian

That Time of Year

It’s hard to believe that winter festival time is already here. This year has flown by.  It brought a lot of positive movement for many of us. 

As we shift in to high gear for the holiday season I’d like to remind you that it wasn’t always this way. For most of our history winter celebrations were more contemplative. People took time with close friends and family in a very intimate way. 

People also saw it as a time for quiet reflection and planning for the year to come. Rightly so. For most of us, at least in the Northern hemisphere, the days are short, the weather cold, dreary, even down right freezing. What do you want to do when this type of weather arrives? Find a warm cave and stay there! That’s exactly what the traditional winter festivals were about. 

Gather together in the warm, safe, indoors. Be more introspective. Think about how the last year has gone for you and those you love. Consider the things that you might have done better. 

Candles and lights are also an important part of this winter ritual. They remind us that Spring will come. The light will return. In fact, it already has. As soon as we cross past the winter solstice, the shortest day of the year, the days start to get longer. These celebrations provide us with hope. The sun will indeed return.

However you celebrate this time of year, take a little time out of your hectic schedule to think, to contemplate, to simply be. Allow this powerful time of year to push you inward. Discover what might lie in store for you as the New Year begins. 

All the best of the season to you, and yours, and my wishes for a fabulous 2015.

Connect with Brian

Taking Care

Being nurturing can be extremely important at times. Make sure that you spend some of that supportive energy on you too.

Balanced nurturing seems to something that many of us struggle with. Some people only understand how to help others. They give too much, often at their own expense.Other people are good at caring for themselves but can be so self-concerned that they forget other people.

Both of these approaches are inherently flawed. In order for nurturing to be balanced it must include care for both self and others. 

Being a caring person does not mean being a doormat. The people who you have supported should be willing to support you when you need it. That help can come in any form. It represents the other person’s willingness to give back as best they can.

We all have times when we’re tired, ill, or just don’t have a lot of energy. That’s when we need to rest, relax,  and get better. If we don’t we will end up exhausted. If we do it too much it can have serious consequences.

On the flip side are the people who take care of themselves but loose track of other people. They can be self-serving, or simply hide to nurture themselves. They can find it hard to relate to other people. They can become isolated and depressed.

Understanding how and when to focus your caring is critical. There are times when we must give energy to the people in our lives who need us. At others we must withdraw to rest and recuperate. The best approach is to care for yourself and get strong. Then you will have the energy you need to care for the others. Balanced nurturing will make everyone in your life stronger, more capable, and more independent. 

Do you use your nurturing strength to empower yourself and others? I’d love to hear your story.

Connect with Brian

In the Flow

Sometimes you need to sit back and let things happen. It can be easier said than done. 

We all like to think that we’re in control. While it is important to work hard towards the things you’re meant to get done in life. Occasionally, moving yourself forward means taking your time making adjustments as life throws stuff at you.

Periods like that always look a little bit chaotic for me. Schedules get altered. Plans change. Appointments get cancelled. It can get frustrating if I let it.

The best way to handle those times is to get curious about the shifts as they happen. Laugh as much as possible. There’s no point trying to control things. Most of all, be flexible. 

Think of the flow of life like a current in a river. You’re likely to end up where it’s going regardless of what you try to do. If you relax, let the river take charge, you’ll end up where you’re supposed to be.

Trust that the Universe is taking care if you. The current is carrying you around challenges so that you can deal with what’s really important.

Getting into the flow is easy for some people. They can take things as they come, and let the Universe take care of them. For others, including me, it’s harder. Instead of getting curious when things get unpredictable, I get frustrated. Instead of finding joy on the journey I try to figure out what’s going on.

That approach makes life more challenging, and makes the shifts more erratic.  I’ve gotten much better at exploring happily when the current is too strong to resist. Sometimes, when I feel the river carrying me, I can let go before I push myself off course. Occasionally I can laugh at how silly I must seem trying to resist the full force of life pulling me forward.

Do you resist, or embrace, the currents when they seem to be working against you? I’d love to hear.

Connect with Brian