Ancestor worship is a strange idea for most Westerners. It can be the most challenging part of Ifa for us. In Ifa, our ancestors are one of the three pillars we stand on. The other two are the eternal energies of the Universe (known as Orisa) and our Ori (our guide for destiny).
Ifa has a very strict definition of ancestor. An ancestor is a blood relative who has died. No exceptions. I am adopted. After my grandfather’s death I had a crisis. The idea that he was not my ancestor made me very uncomfortable.
I had a very deep ancestor connection one day. I felt my grandparents’ presence. It created a powerful connection to my own ancestors. As I listened they explained the Ifa rules to me. I can communicate with, remember and honour my grandparents. They are still interested in my wellbeing. My grandparents have work to do with their own blood-lines. My ancestors are there to play that role for me. I didn’t fully understand, but, I was willing to accept what they were telling me.
I felt powerful emotions coming from my ancestors. I still get goose-bumps when I think about it. It is as if all of my ancestors reached out to my adoptive family with love and gratitude. It was beautiful and overwhelming. I realized that adoption has a profound effect on the ancestral realm. It is as if all the blood-lines have been linked through that love and gratitude.
My ancestors are grateful for my family having taken me in, loved me and supported me. My family and I share a piece of each others' journeys. Adoptees have a unique perspective on another family. I wonder what that means as new generations of the families are born.
The experience has allowed me to make peace with my dead. I now have a more open connection to my ancestors. They have become an important source of spiritual support in my life.
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Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Monday, September 12, 2011
How Well Are You Getting Older?
I turned fifty recently. Even when you plan on living to a hundred and five this is middle age. I have been pondering what fifty means to me and here are a few of the thoughts.
Fifty is a critical age where fashion or hairstyles more suited to twenty-somethings look completely ridiculous. I’ve said goodbye to short shorts, speedos and magazine hair forever.
On a more serious note, it has occurred to me over the last several years that my body now demands a gentler and more consistent approach to exercise. I love to run and have had to really pull back on both my speed and time in order to prevent injuries. It is a matter of wanting to run for the rest of my life. Pushing hard now will severely limit the likelihood of that. I have also opted to replace my gym workouts with daily yoga. My body is feeling better than it has in a very long time and I’ve noticed that it seems to be staying relatively tight and fit looking without pushing weights around. I have enough lean muscle mass so building muscle is not a priority, but, flexibility and a healthy spine are.
The last thing I’ve been thinking about is attitude. I’m not upset by birthdays. Even this milestone is just fine. I think it’s important to be realistic about what we can and can’t accomplish given our age, experience, fitness level etc. The real key to staying healthy and happy is to keep growing and moving at whatever age. Beware getting stuck in a rut or wanting things to stay exactly as they are. I will continue to explore my world, myself and all of the wonderful things that they both have to offer until my journey here is done. How can anyone do anything else?
Connect with Brian
Fifty is a critical age where fashion or hairstyles more suited to twenty-somethings look completely ridiculous. I’ve said goodbye to short shorts, speedos and magazine hair forever.
On a more serious note, it has occurred to me over the last several years that my body now demands a gentler and more consistent approach to exercise. I love to run and have had to really pull back on both my speed and time in order to prevent injuries. It is a matter of wanting to run for the rest of my life. Pushing hard now will severely limit the likelihood of that. I have also opted to replace my gym workouts with daily yoga. My body is feeling better than it has in a very long time and I’ve noticed that it seems to be staying relatively tight and fit looking without pushing weights around. I have enough lean muscle mass so building muscle is not a priority, but, flexibility and a healthy spine are.
The last thing I’ve been thinking about is attitude. I’m not upset by birthdays. Even this milestone is just fine. I think it’s important to be realistic about what we can and can’t accomplish given our age, experience, fitness level etc. The real key to staying healthy and happy is to keep growing and moving at whatever age. Beware getting stuck in a rut or wanting things to stay exactly as they are. I will continue to explore my world, myself and all of the wonderful things that they both have to offer until my journey here is done. How can anyone do anything else?
Connect with Brian
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
To Tribe or not to Tribe?
It seems you can’t walk through a bookstore without running into a hundred titles that deal with tribal culture. I’d like to share some thoughts on why that might be true.
In our busy lives we are looking for a smaller group of like minded people to spend time with. We are looking for a deeper kind of adult connection that fosters support and growth while allowing us to contribute. The essence of our attraction to tribal cultures is our desire for community.
Much of the literature exploring this topic idealizes traditional societies. I don’t really have an issue with that. After all, we’re not trying to run off to the jungle to hunt and gather. Well, at least I’m not. We’re trying to learn from the good things that these societies create and to incorporate them in a new way into our modern lives.
The tribe has a deep understanding of its need for every member. Tribes accept diversity within the context of shared values. The flip side of this coin is that the individual learns to understand their part in the larger whole and begins to consider the tribe as they make decisions about their own lives. The individual needs the tribe and is willing to contribute in their unique way.
We are not born into our tribes. We come together based on shared values. What better reason to form a tribe than to be with people who are like you? Experiencing the way in which our core values play out in other people’s lives gives us a broader understanding of what’s important to us. Understanding and accepting others keeps the tribe open to growth. Your tribe must support growth and development and not force you to conform to a rigid ideal.
The best tribes give us safety, acceptance and challenge us to be better people. They allow us to see the larger picture and to understand our role in it. Do you have a strong circle of close friends? Perhaps you are already a member of a tribe.
Connect with Brian
In our busy lives we are looking for a smaller group of like minded people to spend time with. We are looking for a deeper kind of adult connection that fosters support and growth while allowing us to contribute. The essence of our attraction to tribal cultures is our desire for community.
Much of the literature exploring this topic idealizes traditional societies. I don’t really have an issue with that. After all, we’re not trying to run off to the jungle to hunt and gather. Well, at least I’m not. We’re trying to learn from the good things that these societies create and to incorporate them in a new way into our modern lives.
The tribe has a deep understanding of its need for every member. Tribes accept diversity within the context of shared values. The flip side of this coin is that the individual learns to understand their part in the larger whole and begins to consider the tribe as they make decisions about their own lives. The individual needs the tribe and is willing to contribute in their unique way.
We are not born into our tribes. We come together based on shared values. What better reason to form a tribe than to be with people who are like you? Experiencing the way in which our core values play out in other people’s lives gives us a broader understanding of what’s important to us. Understanding and accepting others keeps the tribe open to growth. Your tribe must support growth and development and not force you to conform to a rigid ideal.
The best tribes give us safety, acceptance and challenge us to be better people. They allow us to see the larger picture and to understand our role in it. Do you have a strong circle of close friends? Perhaps you are already a member of a tribe.
Connect with Brian
Monday, August 29, 2011
Are You Getting the Most out of Your Readings?
Ifa divination doesn’t attempt to predict the future. We believe that every human being has chosen their destiny. We discover our destiny as we go through life. The role of divination is to help us stay in the flow of the energy around us.
Offerings help us to benefit from divination. They allow us to find balance with the natural energies around us when we need to. Offerings can be just about anything that resonates with the person making them. I’d like to use coffee as an example. It is a favourite offering of mine.
What does the thing being offered mean to you. Your relationship to the offering is important. Coffee makes me alert, its warmth helps to wake me up. I use coffee when I need energy or focus.
The second thing to consider is the appropriateness of the offering. If I am looking to increase my peace and calm, coffee would not be a logical choice. I might choose a relaxing tea or incense to accomplish that. Some energies are naturally out of synch with some offerings. We would not offer Obatala, the energy of clarity, anything that would interfere with clarity.
Your approach to making an offering is just as important. Have fun, enjoy the process, be curious about and open to whatever happens. When making an offering, you link the thing being offered with the energy you are connecting to. Doing it is a skill that requires practice. Be patient with yourself. Developing this skill allows you to benefit more from the energies around you.
Connect with Brian
Offerings help us to benefit from divination. They allow us to find balance with the natural energies around us when we need to. Offerings can be just about anything that resonates with the person making them. I’d like to use coffee as an example. It is a favourite offering of mine.
What does the thing being offered mean to you. Your relationship to the offering is important. Coffee makes me alert, its warmth helps to wake me up. I use coffee when I need energy or focus.
The second thing to consider is the appropriateness of the offering. If I am looking to increase my peace and calm, coffee would not be a logical choice. I might choose a relaxing tea or incense to accomplish that. Some energies are naturally out of synch with some offerings. We would not offer Obatala, the energy of clarity, anything that would interfere with clarity.
Your approach to making an offering is just as important. Have fun, enjoy the process, be curious about and open to whatever happens. When making an offering, you link the thing being offered with the energy you are connecting to. Doing it is a skill that requires practice. Be patient with yourself. Developing this skill allows you to benefit more from the energies around you.
Connect with Brian
Monday, August 22, 2011
Can Setting Goals be Bad for Us?
How can we believe in Ifa and still use personal development tools? Recently I’ve been thinking about goal setting and its relationship to the Ifa world-view.
At the surface it would seem that the very idea of goal setting runs contrary to Ifa. I think that it is our orientation to goal setting that is the problem. There are a couple of very important things that we often forget when we are setting goals.
The first is long-term orientation. Ifa asks us to let go of our need for instant gratification. We need to look at the long-term implications of our actions. We want to build our lives for long-term success and happiness. Short-term goals are fine if they support our longer-term objectives. We need to consider the long-term implications of our goals. It is still probably best to focus more on longer term goals in order to allow ourselves flexibility as we are guided forward.
We must also consider our destiny, as well as our Life Path and Guardian energies as we set goals. Any goal that we set must be in alignment with our destiny. It must make sense within the context of our Life Path and the Guardian Energy that we chose. We must consider the implications of any goal to the larger whole of our lives. Ifa divination is the best way to determine whether a goal is in our best interest.
Our focus when goal setting is traditionally to think about what we want. A more Ifa aligned approach would be to think about why we’re here and what would forward that mission. The Universe is ready to provide guidance to us. If we listen then goal setting techniques will support us as we grow and move towards our chosen destiny.
Connect with Brian
At the surface it would seem that the very idea of goal setting runs contrary to Ifa. I think that it is our orientation to goal setting that is the problem. There are a couple of very important things that we often forget when we are setting goals.
The first is long-term orientation. Ifa asks us to let go of our need for instant gratification. We need to look at the long-term implications of our actions. We want to build our lives for long-term success and happiness. Short-term goals are fine if they support our longer-term objectives. We need to consider the long-term implications of our goals. It is still probably best to focus more on longer term goals in order to allow ourselves flexibility as we are guided forward.
We must also consider our destiny, as well as our Life Path and Guardian energies as we set goals. Any goal that we set must be in alignment with our destiny. It must make sense within the context of our Life Path and the Guardian Energy that we chose. We must consider the implications of any goal to the larger whole of our lives. Ifa divination is the best way to determine whether a goal is in our best interest.
Our focus when goal setting is traditionally to think about what we want. A more Ifa aligned approach would be to think about why we’re here and what would forward that mission. The Universe is ready to provide guidance to us. If we listen then goal setting techniques will support us as we grow and move towards our chosen destiny.
Connect with Brian
Monday, August 15, 2011
Are you prefect the way you are?
I’ve been thinking a lot about ancient wisdom lately. When taken out of context some basic truths can really get people into trouble. Taking the position that everything is perfect is a fine example of this kind of trap.
I realize that from the highest spiritual perspective, everything is always exactly as it should be. It is an important life raft when we are in crisis. It can help us to be compassionate towards ourselves, and others, when we are struggling or in conflict. It can also allow us to excuse ourselves from our responsibility to grow and to honour our own experience.
People seem to think that because everything is perfect they don’t need to do anything. Does that really make any sense? I believe that the perfection of things challenges us to see reality so that we can learn and continue to evolve.
This bit of wisdom is not a license to bury your emotions. People hide behind perfection so that they do not have to experience their hurt, sadness or anger. Your emotions are perfect. They act as pointers to growth that you may miss if you bury pain with soothing affirmations.
We all chose this limited, physical existence. If we are still alive then here must be more to learn. Part of the experience is impermanence and all the painful emotions that go with it. Experiencing emotions allows us to grow. We all want to experience peace and glimpse at the perfection of the universe. We must come by those experiences honestly if they are to have any real value.
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I realize that from the highest spiritual perspective, everything is always exactly as it should be. It is an important life raft when we are in crisis. It can help us to be compassionate towards ourselves, and others, when we are struggling or in conflict. It can also allow us to excuse ourselves from our responsibility to grow and to honour our own experience.
People seem to think that because everything is perfect they don’t need to do anything. Does that really make any sense? I believe that the perfection of things challenges us to see reality so that we can learn and continue to evolve.
This bit of wisdom is not a license to bury your emotions. People hide behind perfection so that they do not have to experience their hurt, sadness or anger. Your emotions are perfect. They act as pointers to growth that you may miss if you bury pain with soothing affirmations.
We all chose this limited, physical existence. If we are still alive then here must be more to learn. Part of the experience is impermanence and all the painful emotions that go with it. Experiencing emotions allows us to grow. We all want to experience peace and glimpse at the perfection of the universe. We must come by those experiences honestly if they are to have any real value.
Connect with Brian
Monday, August 8, 2011
Welcome to Living at Choice
Welcome to the inaugural issue of my blog, Living at Choice. It is my belief that we choose this existence and that the way we filter our reality is also a choice. We will explore the idea of being at choice in this blog. I will introduce tools that can get you more in charge of your life.
My primary focus will be on spirituality. Integrating spirit into our day to day lives helps us see that we are at choice even when life is hard. We can honour our journey and treat everything along the way as a valuable lesson . Each lesson grows our wisdom and knowledge and moves us forward. I will write from the perspective of a fellow traveler, sharing my insights and the insights of those people in my life who inspire me. I hope that this blog will allow you to deepen your experience of life. You may discover new practices that can enrich it.
I am a Life Path Mentor. I teach clients to trust their internal compass, to act on their wisdom and to have confidence in the benevolence of the Universe. All of these ideas are in accordance with my own path, the ancient African philosophy Ifa. This blog is part of fulfilling that mission. Together we can grow a community which respects individual paths. It is diversity that makes us strong. The only thing that is not welcome here is disrespect for any idea or view. I am open to healthy debate in an appropriate context. There may be times that I respectfully ask you to move a conversation elsewhere. This is simply a way of keeping us on topic. Your feedback and wisdom are always welcome as are your suggestions for future posts. Welcome and enjoy.
Connect with Brian
My primary focus will be on spirituality. Integrating spirit into our day to day lives helps us see that we are at choice even when life is hard. We can honour our journey and treat everything along the way as a valuable lesson . Each lesson grows our wisdom and knowledge and moves us forward. I will write from the perspective of a fellow traveler, sharing my insights and the insights of those people in my life who inspire me. I hope that this blog will allow you to deepen your experience of life. You may discover new practices that can enrich it.
I am a Life Path Mentor. I teach clients to trust their internal compass, to act on their wisdom and to have confidence in the benevolence of the Universe. All of these ideas are in accordance with my own path, the ancient African philosophy Ifa. This blog is part of fulfilling that mission. Together we can grow a community which respects individual paths. It is diversity that makes us strong. The only thing that is not welcome here is disrespect for any idea or view. I am open to healthy debate in an appropriate context. There may be times that I respectfully ask you to move a conversation elsewhere. This is simply a way of keeping us on topic. Your feedback and wisdom are always welcome as are your suggestions for future posts. Welcome and enjoy.
Connect with Brian
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