Peeling the Onion

Have you ever felt like you could work on your stuff for ever? Are you holding onto things you’ve already resolved?

I was adopted at almost 11 months old. I was in foster homes, and hospitals, before that. It was a rough ride. When I got home I was so weak that I couldn’t lift my head. With my families’ love, and support, I thrived. 

That  trauma left me with baggage. My infant self learned lessons that aren’t relevant any more. But, it’s still difficult for me to feel safe sometimes.

I’ve dealt with the root experience, but not with the threads of “proof” that happened later. 

When I was in my teens I experienced physical bullying because of my sexuality. My cocky self assurance started to crumble. In my twenties I was with a man who was emotionally, and physically, abusive. I was showing myself just how unsafe the world could be. I learned my most powerful, self-limiting, strategy. I began to hide. 

I hid in plain sight. At work, I was the person the office needed me to be. As so many of us are. I would hide the deeper parts of myself to make my partner comfortable. I would avoid confrontation, even with close friends. I showed people what they wanted to see.

I project easy confidence when I want to sit at home and hide. 

I’ve pushed somewhat out of my comfort zone. But I’m not out there doing the work I’m meant to do.

I‘ve made progress. I’m more authentic with the people closest to me. I’m more open with my clients than I thought possible. But being me, shining bright, out there where everyone can see, that terrifies me.

About a year ago I started to feel restless. I knew if I stayed hidden I couldn’t accomplish what I’m here to do. It’s time to get out in the world.

Where do you hold back from letting us see the real you? I’d love to hear your story.

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Time to Slow Down

Sometimes moving quickly isn’t helpful. Taking small steps can be the key to powerful forward movement.

When I decide to do something I usually charge ahead. My lack of patience creates a rush forward that isn’t always the best for me.  

I can always depend on life, or a reading, to let me know that my behaviour is creating a problem. That happened yesterday.  The message was loud and clear. Slow down and focus.

I’ve just started working with my coaches and I’m fired up. It feels like a starting line. As with a longer race, pacing myself at the beginning of this project is crucial.

I’m creating radical change in my business. It is important to have a clear vision of where I’m headed before I start moving. Everything inside me is telling me to get going. I need to stay calm until the perfect moment. Then I can pick up the pace and launch into success.

For now, being cautious, and methodical, is my best route to success. I need to slow down, breathe deep, and lay the foundation before I try to soar.

Plans change, ideas shift and grow. I’ll stay flexible. But, I need a solid plan in place before I get started.

My energy is limited. If I dash off too quickly I run the risk of burning out before I’m done. If I want long-tern success I need to keep my reserves in place for the hard work ahead. Change of this magnitude will  require emotional shifts as well as real-world effort. I don’t want to go in exhausted. 

So I’ll stay the course. Put one foot in front of the other until it’s time to push forward. Why not move with the energy of the Universe on my side?

Do you agree that there are times that quickly moving forward is not in your best interest? I’d love to hear why or why not.

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Shift, then, Trust

Even when you can see positive things coming, change can be challenging. Have you ever created lots of change at the same time? The shifts may be good, but they can bring on anxiety.

I’m having that experience right now. I’ve hired a coaching team to help me rethink my practice, and writing. We’ve only started the process, but, I can already feel the future tugging at me.

My husband and I have decided to explore spending more time in the California desert. Escaping some of our rainy winter will be amazing. I love the heat so summer might even be enjoyable. Spending more time away means restructuring my practice so that I can work remotely. 

As an Obatala I have a powerful need for a safe cave to retreat to. Frequent visits to hotels, and rented homes, are one of the challenges I see up ahead. I need to remember that the goal is eventually to have a home in the desert to retreat to.

We’re moving into the next phase of our lives. I have no way of knowing what our new life will look like. It will certainly be radically different. I’m really excited, but I’m also a bit anxious.

Major shifts disrupt my peace, and clarity.  I don’t always function well in the midst of change. That said, I do recognize how important it is to keep moving forward. I’ll embrace it all whole heartedly.

No matter how compelling the upcoming future is, it is full of unknowns. We can never see the future. We need to trust that the Universe brought us to this moment. It will make sure that we have what we need. 

To move though change gracefully there are a few things you need to do. Make decisions that align with your best, next, steps. Proactively deal with your resistance. Be sensitive to the signals that the Universe sends. Get readings to help clarify the big decisions. Most of all, enjoy the process as much as you can.

Have you struggled with changes that you know will greatly improve your life? I’d love to hear about it.

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Doing the Work

Reaching our goals requires inner, and outer, work. There is no magic wand that will bring you everything you want in life.

Many of us believe that we should be able to have whatever we want without making any effort. If we simply align ourselves, say the right prayer, or do the right spell, then poof. Everything we want will be delivered to us on a silver platter. 

The Universe is infinitely abundant, and infinitely diverse. We may experience many kinds of existence. Our lives here are only one example of many possibilities. We chose to have a physical existence. Earth is the perfect place for us to be in order to accomplish our destinies this time around.

You accepted your physical body. It came with a wonderful set of senses that bring you experience. You also accepted the rules of the physical Universe. The only way to manifest tangible results in the physical world is through physical action. 

Activity is not the only piece of the puzzle. You need to have every level of your being in alignment to manifest truly remarkable results. You must deal with all of the emotional baggage in your way. Your goals need to align with you purpose. Then you must take appropriate, and consistent, action. 

Spiritual, emotional, and mental, effort can support your physical goals but they will not deliver them. The rules of our reality are tough. Many of us find work in the “higher” realms easier.  But, if you want to live an extraordinary life you need to take action on every level. Trying to to leave part of the puzzle out will never give you what you’re looking for.

You must match your spiritual action with temporal effort in order to get tangible benefits. Otherwise  your results are a matter of luck.

Do you agree that positive thinking is only one piece of the achievement puzzle? I’d love to hear why, or why not.

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Too Safe?

If you stay inside your safe zone you risk stunting your growth. Pushing out with wisdom moves you forward powerfully, and safely.

Your comfort zone is there to support you. There are times when it is critical to your survival. We are programmed to see change as threatening, but without it we stay stuck. 

Pushing out can be scary. It can be unpleasant. But, avoiding the difficult parts of life doesn’t serve you. Too many people stay with what they know even if it isn’t working. Others believe that everything in life can be accomplished without effort. The Universe doesn’t work that way. 

We must be in partnership with the Universe to get results, and achieve our destinies. We chose to come here.  The limitations of our reality are part of the deal. Simply wishing for something with clear intention is useless. We have to take acton to make things happen.

Be clear about your goals. Work on any internal obstacles that you have to achieving them. You’ll push against your comfort zone as you start to do the work. Once everything is out of your way make the necessary effort.

As you work on your goal you’ll see just how powerful your comfort zone is. As it starts to weaken the parts of you that believe it keeps you safe will start to scream.

They are just like my mother’s voice from my last post. They’ll convince you that the effort isn’t worth it. They’ll try to tell you that you can’t achieve your goal. They’ll distract you.

These parts only want safety. That’s why you created them. Only you can choose to remove them. Acknowledge them. You used to need them. Thank them, and let them go.

How? Take action. Move intelligently. Slowly if you have to. But move. It is only your action that will show you, and those pesky voices, that you are safe. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. When new voices come up, listen to them, then let them go too. Eventually you’ll be in a new, better, life.

Do you agree that carefully pushing out of our comfort zones is necessary if we are to live fulfilled lives? I’d love to hear why, or why not.

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Your Comfort Zone

Your comfort zone is tricky. It can keep you safe, or hold you back. Working with it effectively can be harder that it sounds. 

The term originally described the ideal temperature for humans to exist in. I’m using it to describe the condition in which you feel most at ease. It can be physical, emotional, mental, or even spiritual. Knowing when, and how hard, to push against it is crucial to your growth.

For a number of reasons I had some pretty dramatic accidents when I was a child. My mother’s diligent efforts to protect me let me survive to adulthood. Her warning voice in my head still helps me to intuit danger in safe-seeming situations. But, sometimes it gets in the way. 

The first time I ever tried snowboarding was a challenge. I was at the top of a mountain for the first time. I was attached to my board with the wrong foot forward. My friends left me to figure things out while they did somer runs. 

I got up, and fell, again and again. After a particularly bad fall I heard my mom, loud and clear, “Be careful Brian, you’re going to hurt yourself.” I kept going until I was so tired, frustrated, and sore, that I started to walk down the hill. I ended up riding down the hill with the ski patrol. I’m lucky I didn’t seriously injure myself. 

I pushed out of my comfort zone too far, too fast, and with absolutely no wisdom. In my case challenging my inner need for caution is usually a good thing. But, doing it recklessly is never a good idea.

The story ends well. I eventually used my frustration to build determination. I took some snowboarding lessons. I conquered my fear by building skills. That was the wise course of action.

Next week we’ll explore the other side. When we allow fear, or complacency, to hold us in a comfort zone that isn’t good for us any more.

Do you agree that recklessly pushing out of your comfort zone could spell disaster? I’d love to hear why, or why not.

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What you need, versus, What you want

The Universe supplies us with everything we need to fulfill our destines. What we want may be another matter. Confusing the two is a common spiritual hurdle.

Many people start spiritual practice  in order to get something. This is the wrong approach. If you are more open then many unexpected benefits will come.

The Universe is a consciousness so vast that you cannot begin to comprehend it.  It will always know more than you do. It’s only goal is alignment. 

Beyond glimpses of the near future you can’t know what that alignment will look like. You have no idea what the long-term holds in store.

We have free will. If we listen, we’ll be guided to what’s best for us rather than floundering about. The more we tune in, the easier it becomes. 

You can ask the Universe for help. If your need is legitimate, and for your long-term good, it will be fulfilled. If you ask for something that isn’t in alignment you’re unlikely to get anything. It is best to ask for assistance and accept what shows up. 

I have been working with a client recently who is struggling financially. She, appropriately, wishes to petition Osun (the energy of success) for help. Let’s take a look at how she could do that.

The least effective approach would be very specific, asking for a lottery win for instance. That puts the Universe in a corner. If the windfall wouldn’t be good for her nothing will happen.

She could ask for a better job. That would be more likely to get results. It also requires her to be on the lookout for opportunities for promotion, or a new position with another organization.

Her best bet is to ask for her finances to improve. Allowing the Universe to provide her with long-term financial stability. She’ll need to be aware of the opportunities that show up, and be ready take action when they do. This allows the Universe many paths to help her. 

Do you agree that being open to what you really need is the best way to get results? I’d love to hear why, or why not.

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