Friendship and Attraction

How do you handle a strong attraction to someone you’d like to start a friendship with?

 I recently met someone through very close friends of mine. I had a particularly intense connection with him. There was powerful, physical, chemistry.

Our conversation got intensely personal almost immediately. I don’t normally feel at ease with new people so quickly. I realized as we spent some time together that I really like him. I was excited about the possibility of a new friend.

In the past I would have chosen not to connect with him. I used to think that our attraction could only lead to issues. I believed that being attracted to a friend would threaten my marriage.

This experience challenged my thoughts about it. Good character demands that we honour our agreements. My husband and I are exclusive to one another sexually, and romantically. We chose that at the beginning of our relationship. We want things to stay that way.

It is also important to be open to the many opportunities that present themselves in our lives. It is critical to judge every opportunity for the long-term benefit it provides. When an opportunity carries challenge it most often brings significant growth.

I have decided to let the friendship grow naturally, while I keep my eyes open. Pretending that the attraction doesn’t exist could create even bigger issues. Only time will tell if we will develop a close connection. 

My new friend, and I, will have to explore one another with appropriate  boundaries. There may be times when that is easier said than done. The only way to move forward is to be completely honest with him about my attraction. I also need to clearly explain the boundaries of my primary relationship. That way we can relate in a  respectful way.

I hope by acting in an open, loving, way we can build a solid friendship. One that will benefit everyone in my circle, including my husband.

Do you believe that it’s important not to allow physical attraction to prevent you from pursuing a platonic friendship? I’d love to hear why, or why not.

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