Our Partner's Stuff

When is it time to call our partner’s out on their stuff? It is  important to be sensitive to our partner’s feelings. When their old stories are operating it can be difficult. Eventually you have to expect people to be responsible for their history. 

One of the most difficult challenges in a relationship is dealing with flirtation. For the person flirting it is never a big deal. For their partner it can be hurtful. Does that mean we should never flirt?

Recently my flirting was taken  as a direct threat to my relationship. It forced me to take a hard look at myself, and at my husband’s sensitivity.

I had no intention of taking it any further . But, based on his past experience, my partner felt it was a problem.

I’ve realized that I need to be less exuberant when connecting with new people. I could have handled the situation more delicately. Now that I know the impact, I can take responsibility for my actions. 

My husband had a very painful breakup in his past. He gets upset whenever I flirt. He has difficulty leaving the old story behind to see that our situation is different.

I feel great compassion for him. I also know that it is  important for me not to take on his issues. Moving into a more healthy relationship requires us both  to deal with our own baggage. We can’t resolve other people’s challenges for them. We can support them and perhaps help them. But, the journey to healing their life is theirs alone.

I gave him some space to sort through things. We will see our relationship coach when we’re both ready. An outside perspective will help us get back on track as individuals, and as a couple. 

Our relationship will continue to thrive, and grow. The more we use this situation as an opportunity to heal ourselves, the more powerful our bond will become. 

When is it time to shield your partner, and when is it time to help them face their issues, and grow? I’d love to hear what you have to say.

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Friendship and Attraction

How do you handle a strong attraction to someone you’d like to start a friendship with?

 I recently met someone through very close friends of mine. I had a particularly intense connection with him. There was powerful, physical, chemistry.

Our conversation got intensely personal almost immediately. I don’t normally feel at ease with new people so quickly. I realized as we spent some time together that I really like him. I was excited about the possibility of a new friend.

In the past I would have chosen not to connect with him. I used to think that our attraction could only lead to issues. I believed that being attracted to a friend would threaten my marriage.

This experience challenged my thoughts about it. Good character demands that we honour our agreements. My husband and I are exclusive to one another sexually, and romantically. We chose that at the beginning of our relationship. We want things to stay that way.

It is also important to be open to the many opportunities that present themselves in our lives. It is critical to judge every opportunity for the long-term benefit it provides. When an opportunity carries challenge it most often brings significant growth.

I have decided to let the friendship grow naturally, while I keep my eyes open. Pretending that the attraction doesn’t exist could create even bigger issues. Only time will tell if we will develop a close connection. 

My new friend, and I, will have to explore one another with appropriate  boundaries. There may be times when that is easier said than done. The only way to move forward is to be completely honest with him about my attraction. I also need to clearly explain the boundaries of my primary relationship. That way we can relate in a  respectful way.

I hope by acting in an open, loving, way we can build a solid friendship. One that will benefit everyone in my circle, including my husband.

Do you believe that it’s important not to allow physical attraction to prevent you from pursuing a platonic friendship? I’d love to hear why, or why not.

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Taking a sabbatical

Hi Everyone,

  I wanted to take this opportunity to thank everyone for their readership, and support.  I'm going to take a break from the blog for the next few months to allow me some time to concentrate on a couple of other creative opportunities that have come knocking. I'll be back in September.

Warm Regards,

Brian

The Odu - Okanran - Going Deep

Okanran is the feminine side of Obara’s absolute masculine. It is the essence of the priestess. The eighth energy nurtures depth. It allows evolution to move vertically.

Okanran is a priest sign. It is the feminine aspect of priest energy. It points to important skills that all priests, including men, need to develop. Okanran is about negotiation rather than force. It is about nurturing rather than boldness. It is about going deep rather than expanding outward.

From an evolutionary perspective Okanran allows the seeds that Obara planted to develop. It nurtures creatures to their greatest potential. It encourages relationship and mutual support. 

Okanran is still about what’s next. It helps us to look inside and consider our personal next steps. When we look out it encourages us to consider how we can nurture the growth of the whole. It helps what has been created to evolve.

Many of us have been conditioned to think of feminine as weak. Okanran is just as powerful as Obara. It focuses that power differently. Without this energy the seed would never sprout. The vast potential of creation could never be realized. Obara and Okanran are equal partners in moving the Universe forward.

Okanran points to the stillness deep inside us. It asks us to bring out the more nurturing aspects of ourselves. It creates compassion. It prepares us for deep spiritual insight. It balances Obara’s passion with sweetness.

These priest energies are our path. It is thorough deepening into both stillness and action that we empower ourselves. Free from ego, we can express our highest potential in the world. 

Each of these energies will become dominant at different times in our lives.  For some they are part of a Life Path providing deep spiritual yearning. For most people periods of reaching out for new experience are followed by times of integration.

Can you see how it is important to use the deepening of Okanran to balance Obara? I’d love to hear why, or why not.

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The Odu - Obara - Pushing Outward

Irosun, and Owanrin, provide structure to the expanding Universe. Obara, the seventh energy, pushes the agenda forward with drive and passion.

Obara is the first wisdom sign. It represents the Ifa priest, in divination. In the creative process Obara is forceful expansion. It compels the creative process to express the values introduced by Irosun. It provides breadth. 

Obara drives horizontal expansion. It supports new creations. It allows the Universe to become more complex and conscious. It is an energy that is continually, and forcefully, moving outward towards what’s new. 

In its quest forward Obara takes no prisoners. Anything that cannot flow with its passionate movement is left behind. Obara plants the seeds that provide novelty. It is the energy of initiation. 

Unlike the wild explosion of Ogbe, Obara has a plan. It screams “Get going!”. It lights a fire under the collective butts of creation to continue what was started at the big bang. 

From our perspective Obara is spiritual drive. It is human. Together with its pair Okanran it describes our potential to evolve. Obara is the absolute masculine. Okanran is the absolute feminine. Together they point to our ability to unite with source. They lead us to enlightenment.

Obara is evolution in action. It is about humans going out into the world as evolved beings. As we move out, we inspire others to do the same. As we push forward we bring our circle with us. 

Obara demands courage. “Slay the dragon of your egos”, it says. Keep moving towards undiscovered potential. Push towards the ultimate unity.

Obara is bold. It doesn’t question the powerful flow of the Universe. It pushes forward at its leading edge. As spiritual people it allows us to be the trailblazers along the road to what’s next.

Can you feel the powerful force of Obara pushing you into your future? I’d love to hear why, or why not.

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The Odu - Owanrin - Controlling the Process

The creative process has never been a straightforward, orderly, affair. The Universe started with a violent explosion. As it expands outward, blockages, issues, catastrophes, create delays, and outright start-overs.

Owanrin, the sixth energy, is about the infinite patience that the Universe creates with.  It calls us to stay steady so that growth can occur. It is even more important when obstacles stand in our way.

While Irosun provided us with direction and values, Owanrin is the formula for growth. Being caught up in the ecstasy of the creative impulse doesn't naturally foster patience, nor caution. In fact, we can become so excited by the expansion forward that we recklessly run towards what’s next.

Ownarin brings the patience, and maturity, that we need in oder to move with the process. Embracing the ebb and flow of our growth. Using periods of slower movement to build strength. Growing understanding. Exploring where you are right now can be a valuable way to look at setting up the future. Pressures and difficulties are all there to teach us something. Learning from overcoming them is what sets us in the next positive direction. If we race forward too quickly, we may take a path that pushes us out of alignment. Owanrin cautions us to patience and perseverance. 

Owanrin also promises that forward movement will begin again. It provides hope. Growth and movement are inevitable. If we are able to keep the inexhaustible nature of the creative process in mind we can stay the course in difficult times. This can bring great rewards.. Alignment brings the full power of that force into our lives. It will push us forward. When we are ready. Towards the best possible future. If there’s a better possibility, why not wait?

Owanrin is a limiting force. It protects the values of the Universe. It ensures that the initial trajectory is preserved. It prevents things from moving forward too quickly. 

Can you see how the Universe limits your growth to make it more powerful? I’d love to hear why, or why not.

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The Odu - Irosun - Focusing Forward

God creates a joyously expanding Universe with attention focused forward. The entire process reaches to what’s next. Choices are made based on the values inherent in the system. 

Irosun, the fifth energy, is about long-term orientation and the values of the creative process. Oludumare is more interested in emergence than what already exists. Irosun encourages us to focus forward so we can discover our potential. This is best accomplished when we free ourselves from the concerns of our ego.

What values does the Universe reflect in its expansion? The trajectory of evolution shows us. It favours complexity. Creation has become more complex with each step from the first atoms to intelligent, self-reflective life. This process allows completely new forms to emerge.

As far as we know, human beings are the most complex organisms in the Universe. We  have become self aware. We have begun to take the role of the Creator ourselves. For good, or bad, we have a profound impact on our world. 

The Universe is benevolent, but, it has a far longer perspective on life than we do. If we self-destruct it will only be a set back, Oludumare has nothing but time with which to create. We are not the last intelligent life that will be created. We are likely not the first that was either.

The Universe will continue to expand outward. Other self-aware creatures are inevitable. We arrogantly believe that our evolution is done. Even we, will develop new capacities, become something that we might not even recognize. The process has just begun.

We align with the cosmic process through our destinies. We have no set route to achieve them. Only the general direction and Universal values to guide us. The development of wisdom can take many paths. 

The Universe does not know where it is going next. There is joy and excitement in novelty. If we get caught up in joy as we move forward. We join in the mystery.

Can you see how the direction, and values, of the creative process guide us towards our own development? I’d love to hear why, or why not.

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